most recent migraine.....

today is thursday....and i feel a little bit more normal....you want to know why???? monday night at 9pm i started to get this headache...it covered my whole forehead...my husband and i thought it was just stress over a traffic ticket that i was to take care of on tuesday....so i took the usual meds...and laid down...and laid there the whole night while the headache got worse by the second...when morning came i felt HORRIBLE...my forehead felt like an inflated balloon...my eyes were sooo puffy that they felt like they were trying to swell shut.....went to the courthouse and got the ticket taken care of thanks to derrick peterson(YOUR THE BEST)....by the time i got home i was still feeling soo bad...the pain was starting to move...it was going towards my left temple.....by the late afternoon i was about to die...i looked at the clock and it said 4:42 and i knew that it was too late to go see my family doctor....and i couldn't have handled the ride to dothan to the e.r. ...so i took another round of the usual suspects and laid back down....every time i moved it would throb it felt like an ice pick

just stabbing me over and over with every beat of my heart.....my forehead was now just sore and tired from the headache that had been there...now it was just on my left side....it is just unreal how bad that can hurt.....

that picture accurately describes what i was feeling....so yesterday i woke up and still had the same migraine...it was just getting to be unbearable...so i finally get to go to the doctor and they gave me a shot...i go back home and go back to bed....it just sucks how migraines just take your life away from you...i have a little boy that wants to play with his mommy but she cant cause she has a headache...it just sucks....thank goodness he is such a good baby and knows that mommy can't help it and he even tries to take care of me....i couldn't ask for a better child...
today i still have a headache on the left side but it is starting to ease off slowly...thank GOD!!!! and i am tired...a migraine is like a roller coaster...the beginning of the migraine is like your going up the first hill.......the peak of the migraine is when you are at the top....and then when it starts to leave your heading down the hill...but when you get to the bottom your still just worn out like your body has been at battle...which it has..trying to heal itself....
so if you have a friend or anyone who has migraines and they tell you they have a migraine...just remember its not a simple headache that you can just take two Excedrin and get over it...migraines are debilitating and take your life from you...be nice to people when they are in pain...

to mammaw

tomorrow is my grandmother's birthday...or i should say it would have been....she was born in 1913....i miss her sooo much...more than i could ever put on here....i just know she is tickled pink about brodie...i have told him everything i can about her to him...i have taught him all her sayings....i just know that she sent him to me...that particular little boy....cause when me and him talk about her its like he knows her...he tells me she is in heaven...in outer space....and that daddy's best friend jessie is with her too...i hope he is right...she died august 10th 2001 and it seems like yesterday...i can remember everything about that day...i was actually packing all my stuff ready to move to my new place at the beach....my God how that one day changed my whole life...i had to get my deposit back....un-quit my job...but i remember about that day was driving to the hospital and just knowing she was gone...and the full realization of that fact was when i got out of the car and seeing my dad...walter....and terrell...and i just zoned in on walter for some reason and he had been crying...bad....and i knew...and they told me she was gone...and i just fell....walter caught me.....a part of me died that day.....i have never cried like that in my life....ever....and i was waiting and waiting for andrea to get there.....i needed her there and i was dreading seeing brittany or katelyn....especially brittany......terrell told me to walk with him and smoke a cig...at that point i didnt care who knew i smoked...my daddy even asked if i had a cig which i did....and terrell STILL BUMMED ONE....lol...the next day we all met over at aunt judy and uncle henry's house...and i love love being around all my cousin's but it was sooo sad.....and i was just falling into blackness on the inside.....terrell asked me if i wanted to see something funny...i said sure...we were outside by ourselves smoking and he takes off his hat....omg....bradley had dared him to shave his head...and he had shaved it all off up top all the way to the back of his crown...when he stopped....he said he saw that he wasnt going to like it that way and he figured he could just wear a hat til it grew out...but i tell you what yall i laughed like i have never laughed before....omg its still one of the funniest things i have ever seen in my LIFE.....i ran inside to tell everyone (the family news spreader i am).....and my dad said what in the world are you laughing at.....cause nothing was funny about anything that he could see...i said take off terrells hate....i found walter....i told him just to take terrells hat off....omg i thought he was going to piss himself he laughed so hard...to this day im sooo thankful for that one moment of laughter....we had to go to the wake on walter's bday...can you imagine having to say goodbye on your bday....bless his heart....but i try to tell brodie all about his mam-maw and how she would have just loved and spoiled him to death....i miss you lillie.....i will miss you until the day i join you....i love you forever and always....
danielle

 

hearing me now?

for the majority of my life i have had very bad hearing...half due to family genetics i think cause most of my immediate family on my mom's side are very hard of hearing...and the other half due to the ignorance of a well known ear,nose, and throat doctor who i wont name....when i was about 9 or 10 i had about 7 or 8 ear infections in one year...one infection lasted for almost two weeks...it was this that damaged my hearing so bad....not once did he offer stronger meds or even tubes in my ears...i can remember screaming in pain...it was awful...anyway....today i am 35 and i have the hearing of an 80 or 90 yr old person...very bad....especially in my left ear....and i have told all my friends that i am hard of hearing and to please speak up....i am constantly mis-understanding them or they just roll their eyes and refuse to speak the fk up....SPEAK UP!!!! its not a hard thing to do....and never ever ask me "hey did you hear that?" answer is always no....i do have hearing aids...at the moment i can not wear them cause they dont fit properly anymore and i havent had the funds to get them fixed...donations are welcomed....so if you want to talk to me talk...just speak up slightly....and DONT ROLL YOUR EYES OR SIGH A DEEP BREATHE  when i say "huh?" or "what did you say"....also i have a remarkable ability to be able to tune people out....living with my grandmother and dad all my life you learn to do that...also i know of other people who are hard of hearing or little kids who have to wear hearing aids...they are just like you they just want to be a part of the conversation....

def feels like summer now

well yesterday at the birthday party was so much fun...brodie and ravyn had a blast...i got to play with the cutie pie a.j....he was just craving attention...bless his heart...me and joel wanted to bring him home with us...he was sooo precious...i hope his parents get over themselves a little bit and realize he wont be a baby for long and they should cherish every second with him...
ok off that subject cause i can get fired up about that...
tomorrow is memorial day...i am forever grateful to the armed forces...and to my grandfather daniel madrid sr. he fought in world war 2 and died due to injuries he received in d-day...he is buried in normandy overlooking the ocean....my goal is to one day put flowers on his grave myself...my grandmother was only like a month pregnant with my dad when he died...its so sad they never met but from the love letters he was wishing for a boy..he got his wish...my grandmother never remarried and she loved him until the day she died...she wouldnt talk about him too much cause it was just too painful..they had a whirlwind romance and married after only knowing each other a few weeks...the love letters are awsome....he loved her eyes and legs....
anyways if you have someone in the military thank them...cause they do sacrifice alot...and their families do also.

saturday fun!!!!

today i woke up in extreme pain...trying to rest and let the meds take hold which they really dont want to...we have to go to joel's neice's fifth bday party....yay!!!!!!! she is going to have one of those blow up water slides....i just hope my son enjoys himself cause he isnt fond of water in his face....nor is he a big fan of trying new things..he is such an old man about things sometimes....too careful...thanks to his pawpaw....as i sit here and try to write this he is screaming "smell my piggies" to his daddy....anyways..i hope everything goes good today and i hope to be home by fiveish so they can get in a little play time with anu...but......i also hope they play themselves out and go straight to bed when they get home...aaahhhhh that would be heaven....i just wish i For ONce felt better and felt like a little bit of a human being...maybe one day.

people will piss and moan

i have been listening and voicing my opinion in private over the student who wanted to walk in his graduation...now...this student is also my cousin but that is besides the fact...people are ready to hang the poor child because he wants to walk with his classmates...he fully understands he wont get a diploma at that time but he wants the memory....and really what is he hurting...i have heard people bitch about it..who DON'T have kids even in school anymore...personally i think the exit exam is STUPID...i mean what is the point of working your ass off for a 4.0 when one test can null and void it all...i personally do not test well...i get nervous and tend to over think things....so i know i would not do well if i had to take the exam....and regardless if the kid was "passed" because of sports...that is stupid too...we should pass kids based on merit not whether they can throw a ball...that should be secondary....but what ticks me off is people who are bitching about it and IT DOES NOT CONCERN THEM!!!! if your child is graduating this year...worry about that child...not whether someone else is or not...i mean seriously is it any of yall's concern...nope its not...and people need to chill out...its not like he committed a damn murder or other violent act...he just wanted to walk....that is it...chill out..

thursday night traditions

on thursday nights for atleast 15yrs i know more though we have gathered at my granny volf's house...she cooks for us...now the us...being my immediate family on my mom's side...aunts and uncles and all first cousins...and who ever else wants to join really....and she never ever disappoints...but the thing is....she doesnt run her air conditioner...half the reason is well she is 80 and she just doesnt get that hot anymore and the other half of it is ....her unit is a piece of crap....well after she has cooked all day long in it that house is very very warm....actually its FREAKING HOT!!!!!!!! and we try to delicately tell her "hey we are melting here" but it doesnt work....but i guess one night a week in sweltering heat never hurt anyone right....im just gonna have to turn on every fan in that house.....but i love her and she is worth it...plus her food is the BOMB DIGGITY!!!
i love you granny volf...